You Know What They Say About Hate and Love
by Evans17
Summary: James Potter and Lily Evans, Head Boy and Girl at Hogwarts.  How they learn to live - and love - despite the war raging around them.
1. Letters

Letter to Lily Evans, August 12th, 1997

Dearest Lilyflower,

Only nineteen days until I see you again, my dear one! Oh, how my heart longs for you, my sweet, my fair, my breathtaking Lilykins! I am near to tears (but not really, because I'm much too manly) because you haven't responded to any of my letters!  
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please write me back?  
Love and adoration and worship,  
James Ignotus Potter

Letter to Marlene Mckinnon, August 15th, 1997

Marlene –

I'm going to kill Potter. I swear I'll kill him with my bare hands. Do you know what he did?

Never mind. I'm sure that idiot you call your boyfriend has already told you.

Petunia's engaged, did you know? To Dursley. He looks like a whale and has an awful scraggly growth on his upper lip. Petunia absolutely _worships_ the ground he walks on, and she's been awful.

I hate this. I want (dare I say it?) to go back to school.

Yes, go ahead, laugh, call me a workaholic or a nerd or whatever. I hate summer.

Love and hugs,

-Lily

Letter to Lily Evans, August 21st, 1997

Dearest Flower,

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

That means yes, Sirius told me what James did.

You're so touchy, Lils. _I_ think it's kind of cute. Pathetic, sure, but cute.

I mean, the boy is _so_ infatuated that he actually comes to your house and serenades you? It would have been really sweet if he hadn't gotten the wrong room – and if Petunia hadn't called the police.

HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry. It's just so funny!

Yes, it is. No, don't make a frownyface. Even you kind of wanted to laugh, admit it.

Ah, Lily, dear, I know you too well.

I have to go. There's naked boy candy waiting for me in the other room, as well as coffee and a cigarette. (Did I mention that your owl wakes people up _entirely_ too early?) And don't you make that disapproving face at me. A girl's got needs. Cigarettes are really the least of our worries right now, don't you think?

Love you, girl.

Xoxo, Marlene

Letter to Marlene Mckinnon, August 23rd, 1997

It _wasn't _funny. He knows where I live! How creepy can he get?

Excuse me, by the way, while I go pour bleach in my brain and burn out my eyes after that horrifying image of Black naked. Especially given that you referred to him as "boy candy."

I need some saner friends. Seriously. (Don't you dare make a pun out of that, Mckinnon.)

I have to go help mum get dinner on. Tell Black I said to put some clothes on and stop grinning like that.

Love.

Letter to James Potter, August 25th, 1997

Potter,  
Bugger off and stop writing me.

-Lily


	2. Head Boy

It was a crisp day. The sun shone down brightly, albeit weakly, and the air was just chill enough to suggest that fall was on its way.

I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, took a deep breath, and stepped through the barrier onto platform nine and three quarters.

I was immediately hit by wave of noise and almost stepped back. Owls hooting, cats meowing, teenagers shouting to their old friends, chatter, chatter everywhere.

"LILY!"

A thin girl with light brown, somewhat curly hair, and wearing – what the hell – a bright green tailored jacket – bowled into me and knocked me to the ground, effectively killing my train of thought. "LILY! I MISSED YOU! SIRIUS, LOOK, IT'S LILY!"

Spending all summer with Sirius had clearly turned Marlene into his miniature: just as loud, pushy and obnoxious. Oh no, wait, she had always been that way. Damn.

I scrambled to my feet to see Black grinning down at me. And next to him was –oh horror – Potter. "All right, Evans?" he asked. One of his hands jumped to his hair – dear god, the boy would never change – and his voice got all deep. It was kind of scary.

"I hate you," I moaned softly to Marlene.  
"I know," Marlene said brightly. "I love you too." Then she grabbed Black's hand and nearly squealed. "Sirius, dear, let's go get a compartment, shall we?"

"Sure," Black agreed, and the two of them fairly skipped away, presumably to go snog, while I was left alone with the wanker.

"Shall we get a compartment?" he asked slightly nervously.

I sniffed and turned away, straightening the Head Girl pin on my robes. I was very proud of it, you see, and the little scene with Marlene had knocked it crooked.  
"Very sorry, Potter, but I have to go to the prefects' compartment. Head Girl, you see."

"Oh," he said. "Well, I'll come with you, then."

"You can't come with me. It's a Prefect meeting. You're not a prefect."

"No, but I am Head Boy."

I turned to look at him, and he couldn't suppress a grin, probably at the horror in my expression. It was the sort of smug grin that made me want to punch him in the face. Granted, I'd already done that several times last year, but the old punch never wears out. "You, Head Boy?"

He pointed cheerfully at the pin on his robes.  
"Merlin save us," I breathed. "What was Dumbledore _thinking_?" It wasn't possible. It just wasn't. He hadn't even been Prefect!

"I'm not really sure," he said. "I've been asking myself that a lot lately, and I think-"

"It was a rhetorical question, Potter," I said, cutting him off, because, I mean, _honestly_. "We'd better go, then."

He followed me onto the train and to the Prefects' compartment, chattering happily the whole way. I did my best to ignore him.

When we got to the prefects' compartment, I divvied up shifts quickly enough and arranged a meeting for September thirteenth. It was all going swimmingly until the stupid Hufflepuff prefect had to stick her nose in.

"Ermm," she said nervously. "I'm sorry, but could we reschedule the meeting? I have Quidditch tryouts that day, and Macmillan wants us all to be there."

"Are you trying out?"

"No," she said, "But Macmillan wants to make sure anyone he chooses fits in well with how those already on the team play."

"Well, if you're not trying out, I think a Prefects' meeting is a little more important?"

The Hufflepuff girl gave a half nod, and then Potter piped up. "Evans, it wouldn't be that difficult to change the date of the meeting." He went off on some sort of ramble about how responsibility to your teammates was important, too, but I tuned him out.

My thoughts drifted, and I found myself wondering about Dorcas, a dorm mate and good friend of mine and Marlene's. I mean, we were all friends in Gryffindor, but putting so many strong-willed girls together was sure to create clashes, and it was generally just me and Marlene and sometimes Dorcas, and-

"Evans?"

"Hmm?" Potter was staring at me. Git. "What is it?"

"What do you say to the fifteenth, instead?" the Hufflepuff girl asked me.

"Oh, what? Because of the tryouts? I suppose it doesn't matter."

"Alright," Potter said. "So we're done here, unless someone else has scheduling conflicts?"

There was a general shaking of heads.

"Right then," I said, and stood, all too happy to get away.

I found Marlene in a compartment alone, and I thanked Merlin that Black wasn't with her.

"Hey," she said happily.

"Hello. Can you believe Potter got Head Boy? Potter, of all people! What is Hogwarts coming to- why are you combing your hair?"

"It got a bit mussed," she said, grinning wickedly.

"How?" I asked. Poor, innocent, _stupid_ Lily.

"It's called a good shag, Lily."

"I think I may have just died a little inside." I said, and flopped down on one of the seats.

She just grinned. I groaned and covered my eyes. "You're really scary, Marlene, did you know that? Where is Black, by the way?"

"He went to find Remus and Peter. I told him not to bring them back here or you'd probably have a coronary. Us girls do need some girl time, after all."

There was a slam as the compartment door opened and petite Dorcas Meadowes fairly skipped in, haphazardly cut hair falling out of its various multicolored pins and into her eyes.

"Cheery, are we?"

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, teach us something please!" she sang. Marlene and I covered our ears and ducked for cover.

"Oh, come on, drama queens. My singing isn't _that_ bad."

"I beg to differ," I said, and then, as she sat down, "So you didn't get lost, then?"

"No, I didn't!" she said, sounding proud of herself. I muffled a giggle just as Mary Macdonald opened the door.

"Hi, girls, can I sit – oh my god, Marlene, what are you _wearing_?"

"Like it?" Marlene asked, putting away the comb and pulling out a tube of lipstick. "I made it myself."

"It's an atrocity," Mary said. "But it's rather eye-catching, which is, I suppose, a point in its favor?" She didn't sound so sure. Her hair was a shade lighter than I remembered it, and I wondered if it was natural or not. It hung perfectly around her face.

"I like it," offered another voice. I looked up to see Alice Bertrand standing in the doorway behind Mary, looking bright and chipper.

"Why thank you, Alice," Marlene said. She reached into her bag and took out a cigarette. "Anyone else want a fag?"

"No thanks," I said. "And you really shouldn't smoke on the train. Someone's going to smell it."

"So? I'm of age, legally." She scooted over to the window, though, and opened it as Mary and Alice sat down. A gust of wind sent some parchment flying from my bag, and as I rushed out to catch it, I saw someone's foot holding it down. I looked up to see Peter Pettigrew grinning at me as he handed me my Potions and Transfiguration essays.

"Thanks, Pettigrew," I got out through gritted teeth. Would the Marauders never stop turning up where they weren't wanted?

"No problem," he said. "Hi, Dorcas, Marlene, Alice, Mary."  
"Hey, Peter," Dorcas said cheerfully. Marlene waved, and Alice nodded politely. Mary said "hello," rather halfheartedly, and Peter walked off down the corridor.

"Marlene, shut that bloody window before we catch our deaths," Mary said. Marlene grumbled but stubbed out her cigarette on the sole of her shoe before flicking the stub out the window and closing it.

"So, what's new?" Alice asked. "Lily?"

"Petunia's engaged to a whale, and Potter serenaded her by mistake."

Mary snorted. "Oh, I heard about that one."

Alice nodded. "Me too, from Frank."

"Oooh, Frank," Marlene said. "Did you shag him yet?"

"Marlene!" Alice said, flushing.

"Only joking, Alice, calm down."

"Oh, and Potter's Head Boy," I said, trying to steer the conversation into less uncomfortable waters. "I can't imagine what Dumbledore was thinking."

"Ha! You're going to have to see him all the time now!"

"It's not funny, Dorcas. You know how much I hate him."

"Well, you know what they say about hate and love – " she broke off as I glowered at her.

It wasn't even funny. He was such a – a horrible person! He couldn't be worse if he tried. I really did _hate_ him. He was just... there weren't even words for that kind of bullying wanker.

"Uh oh. She's got her anti-marauder face on," Dorcas said brightly. "Well, _I _have news. Gideon Prewett asked me out on a date."

"No way."

"Yes, way."  
"And what did you say?" Alice asked curiously.  
"Well, yes, of course."

"How was it? Details, Dorcas, details!"

"It was... great."

"Dorcas!"

"It was really nice. We talked about Quidditch, and he was all handsome and pratlike and _Gryffindor_. It was comforting." She smiled dreamily.

I groaned. Quidditch. It really wasn't all that interesting a sport. Why was everyone in the wizarding world so _obsessed_ with it?

"Are you going to go out with him again?" Mary asked.

"Yes."

"Well, congratulations!"

Dorcas smiled. "Thanks. I'm actually really – really happy about this. Feels like at least _something_'s right in the world."

And there it was. The shadow hanging over us, the horrible threat, the unmentioned danger.

It was war, here in the wizarding world. We all knew that. We knew, as well, that we would not all survive.

We knew it, but we didn't _believe _it. We were only seventeen, after all.

"And you, Marlene?" Alice asked. "How was your summer?"

"Oh, it was good. I spent it mostly with Sirius, at his flat."

Mary sniffed, and Marlene looked at her. I held my breath, waiting for the conflict, and was highly relieved when Marlene just shrugged and turned to me. "So, Lils, what exactly did Potter sing?"

"A Cauldron Full Of Hot, Strong Love," I said, shuddering. "Oh, it was sickening."

Mary laughed. "Oh, poor Lily."

Dorcas grinned and began to sing. "Brew me up a cauldron of hot, strong –"

Luckily for my sanity, the sweets trolley arrived then, and she stopped singing, choosing instead to launch herself towards the sweets.

I sighed. It was going to be a long, sugar-activated hyperactivity filled train ride.

A few hours later, all full of sugar, we lay about a little more quietly. Alice and Mary pored over some sort of girly magazine while Marlene and Dorcas doodled little people on their parchment and charmed them to dance about the compartment. I was putting the finishing touches on my History of Magic essay when the train began to slow, ever so imperceptibly, and the familiar voice rang out. "Please leave all bags on the train..."

"We'd better change," Mary said, sticking the magazine back into her bag and flicking away one of the little figures who was trying to pull on her hair.

Alice pulled down the shade on the compartment door and we shimmied quickly out of our clothes and into our uniforms and robes. The train came to a stop just as I was fastening my robes, and Marlene took a moment to Vanish all the little stick figures before we left the train.

Marlene, Dorcas, and I got into the first carriage we found, while Mary and Alice waited for the next open one, promising to meet us at the feast. As the carriage rattled up to the school, I drew in a deep breath.

"Our last year of school, can you believe it?"

Dorcas shook her head excitedly, but Marlene just shrugged. "I'm pretty ready to be done with it, actually."

I stared at her. "I can't even imagine never coming back here."

"Well, that's you, isn't it? Personally, I can't wait."

"What are you planning to do after Hogwarts?" Dorcas asked curiously.  
"Ah, I dunno. Go to a lot of nightclubs. Sing. Maybe wait tables. I don't know yet. But whatever it is, I'll make sure I have fun doing it." She sighed. "And you, Dor?"

"I want to fight," she said immediately. "So I'll do whatever job lets me do that. I asked McGonagall in fifth year, and she recommended I become an Auror, so that's what I'm aiming for, I guess. And you, Lily?"

"I'm not sure," I said hesitantly. "I'm thinking seriously about becoming an Auror, though. I used to want to be a Healer but..." I shrugged. "I decided that wasn't really me. I love Charms though... maybe I could be a Charms developer for the Ministry? I don't really know yet."

The carriage bumped to a halt then, and we clambered out, hungry and eager for the feast.


End file.
